Wednesday, November 14, 2012

~I had an epiphany today...

So if you consider yourself a hipster and you are okay with that, then perhaps you should stop reading right now and go somewhere else on the internets.

So are all the "cool to be hipster" people gone? today I learned a lesson that hipsters are not cool and in fact are douche bags. How did I learn this little tid bit of info? Well it all started with a comic I read by The Oatmeal. About goats and hipsters and their similarities. (By the way if you have never read The Oatmeal, Googley him right now! Well maybe not right now, but after reading this Googley him!)

So back to the lesson, hipsters can be indifferent (which at random times can be relatively cool) and can grow impressive beards. However you know what else acts indifferently and can grow a beard....A GOAT!!! yes you heard me a goat!!!

Goats eat anything (ie my homework) and when you tell the teacher that's what happened and she doesn't believe and you get an F. Thanks a lot you freakin goat, you're a douche bag!
Then you go home with your undeserved F in hand and tell gramma that the reason why you got an F was because the douche bag goat ate your homework and the teacher doesn't believe you because once you said the cat ate your homework even though you didn't have a cat and then the teacher became so concerned because you are allergic to cats so she calls home to talk with your mother only to find out that there is no cat and you get caught lying because you didn't do the stupid homework because well it was stupid...

I'm sure it happens all the time...So here's a summary:
Goat =Douche Bag
Goat = Hipster
Hipster = Douche Bag

Hey not only a life lesson but also a math lesson!
You're welcome!

Sunday, August 26, 2012

Dirty Girls Can Wear Red Too!!!

I am an avid reader of The Bloggess...well let me try that again. I have a crazed like boy band fan love for The Bloggess, Jenny Lawson. I ♥ her writing, her sense of humor, her crazy and not so crazy stories and her Lawsbian Army. Every time I read her blog I walk away with something whether its a new vocab word such as douche canoe (which is still my all time favorite word!) or an idea to try or just a smile on my face. Regardless of the demons she is fighting, she is a survivor and that is something that I not only crazily respect but I can relate to. So you're probably wondering why the hell I'm singing these praises and being all sappy....cause usually the sappy side of this blog is brought to you by ~LK~. Jenny has this story about wanting to wear a strapless red ball gown with no apologies. She does this and photographs the experiences. I could try to rehash the experience she had but I would fail miserably so just go read her post about it.
go ahead I'll wait......................ok you back? good! So this one experience spurred a movement of sorts and it just resonated with me. I'm not an overly girly girl. I'm a sporty girl that's not afraid to get dirty. I'm lucky to get a brush through my hair before I leave the house in the morning. I wear pajama pants to the grocery store without even thinking twice. I'm a jeans and t-shirt girl through and through. I guess you can say I'm the epitome of a low maintenance girl. However there was something about having a red dress moment that I couldn't shake. I had to have one. A lot people don't realize that just because I'm a creature of comfort doesn't mean I don't like to feel pretty & feminine. It just means that there better be a damn good reason to get dolled up. To me the red dress moment was a damn good reason. The women I know and work with are similar to me in that we are 'dirty' girls. We work long hours out in the hot sun and dirt. Sometimes we might work with flowers but we don't necessarily smell like them at the end of the day. Doing this day after day sometimes you start to feel like less of a woman. What better way to celebrate being strong and abled bodied women than wearing red dresses at our place of work. The girls were down with the idea and we picked the day, which was the last day of my internship. It was a great feeling all throughout the photo shoot. Our first pictures we picked a place and our tools of the trade and just threw down poses that would make Heidi Klum jealous.
Yes that's us with our shovels, trowels, loppers and a chainsaw!

For our next backdrop we though we would hang out in the trees....
not a real parrot above my head!!!

For the last backdrop we though we would hit the beach! The wind was perfect. The light was great. 
Kristy's cape kept fluttering in the breeze! It was really cool!

Then we all decided to try an action shot!
Think we succeeded!!!!

Our red dress moment was amazing! It was cool to have the guys look at us and do a double take because we weren't in our field clothes covered in sand and sweat. It was just an all round empowering like feeling. Remember folks...DIRTY GIRLS CAN WEAR RED TOO!!!!

PS regardless of how ~LK~ feels about putting on a red ball gown, she & I are doing this...SOOON!! In fact, first paycheck I get, I'm going over there and we're having a red dress sonic moment!!! so stay tuned....

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

~*~ One of My Finer TP'ing moments~*~

Working in a restaurant filled with kids who are young and learn quickly how to occupy your time during the slow hours of work and on your break. You play pranks. Everyone has had their car Toilet Papered...or Blue Cheese stuck in their purse at least one time during their stay at work. I myself have been a mastered T.P'er from the get go. I have toilet papers cars around shopping baskets...and then around trees....and even TP'ed motorcycles. 

 One of my best pranks involved a manger who I knew was transferring to a different store. So on my lunch break along with a fellow employee...I walked over to him to chat..and swiftly stole his keys from him. We jumped into his SUV and the proceeded to blow up over 100 or so Balloons and put them in the trunk. So he wouldn't see them until he popped open the hatch and all the balloons would pour out. We had brought from the Dollar Store Dr. Seuss window clings and placed them throughout the windows. We then Tp'ed the seats and the steering wheel. Mean while every time we saw an employee walk to their car...or the manager walk by the window in the restaurant..we would dunk onto the floor. After making his SUV look like a birthday party hangover gone wrong...we quickly made our way back into the restaurant and placed his keys back in the same spot we got them. 

Our shifts ended soon after and we were heading to our cars...Just as we were about to leave...we saw him walk to his SUV and open up the was late so he didn't notice Dr Seuss staring at him through the window. After opening door, the look we got was said "Hide under your bed with a flashlight cause I'm gonna get you back" look. He shook his head and headed to the trunk to place his bag back there...oh yea...don't think we ever ran that fast to our cars. Oh the Tp Memories I have...good times.

~*~Birthday Gifts~*~

A long time ago, we were friends with a girl who, at the time, we thought was a friend but later learned otherwise...but that is not a fun story. The story I'm telling is about a birthday gift we had made for her.

 This girl loved to shop and honestly...we had no idea what to do for her because her taste was a little expensive. So being the creative genesis' we are...we went around the plaza we worked in..and got a $5 gift card from random places.... Claire's...the movie theater...I even think Bath and Body Works. There was a few more in there that I just can't remember. We made a cute little basket and bada bing..a basket full of tiny filled gift cards to spend on her break from work. 

Oh yes, this was a great idea at the time...but thinking back now...I wonder how much of a hassle it was to remember you had all those gift cards...and how much it was a hassle to bring them shopping with you. She wasn't the most organized girl out there so I betting it was difficult. So now..after realizing this..I have decided that was the best possible gift to give an ex friend. Karma baby! 

~*~Zombie Insight~*~

Rhinos are the Zombie Versions of Unicorns. 


While at Worlds of Fun in Missouri. Kat and I decided to tackle all rides there. One was a giant kids spinning ride that was an octopus. While waiting on line to ride on one of the Octopus tentacles that will spin us around until we throw up..I noticed a forest next to the ride. Being a tree lover that I am...or course I noticed it. I asked Kat if it was filled with wildlife or was it just a bunch of trees the park put up for shade. She said it was filled with animals.

 Finally our turn comes up and we take our seat. On the same Tentacle as us was a heavy older gentleman who was sitting by himself and the third seat was 2 young kids. The ride takes off and while the tentacles also dips at an angle...great ride in theory however..when its time to get off the ride, you have to sit in the air while the employee takes the people off the ride one seat at a you spend about 90% of the time just sitting. 

 While sitting there, A deer came out of the woods! A deer!! Thinking quickly, I told Kat we needed to name him and the first thing that came to mind was Bologna! Who doesn't think of Bologna while riding a Tentacle of a Octopus? So as quickly as I asked, I yelled at the top of my lungs "BBBBOOOLLLOOGGGNNNAAA". Not only did we get the oddest look for the dude sitting near us, the Bologna actually turned to us! As if he knew his name already and was waiting for us to say roll over or something! 

Just then the kids sitting all around us heard us call our new friend and started yelling "Deer! Deer!" and poor Bologna felt angry that the rest did not know his name and he took off. =o(

For the rest of our Worlds of Fun experience we did not see Bologna however I will always remember him visiting us while we were stuck on that Octopus. It also makes a great story to tell because seriously, how many times do you get to say Bologna, Octopus, and deer in one story telling? 

~*Rental Car Rule #1*~

 When Renting a car...there is one golden rule you should follow...learn how and what all the buttons are for in the car before leaving the facility. 

 While in Missouri, Kat rented a mini van. I know what your young chicks on vacay and you get a mini van?? The answer is yes, when you have as many family members as Kat Does. was days after we have been sitting in the van when we finally notice that this van has a sunroof! Who knew mini vans actually had sunroofs! (This was about 6 years ago before mini vans were cool). 

It was the day before we had to leave to go back home, and it has been sunny and clear skies all week. So to celebrate our awesome vacay we did one last Taco Bell  late night run. Back at our hotel, we tried to close to the sun roof but couldn't. Both hungry and tired, we went inside the hotel and by the time we stepped outside the van, we both had completely forgotten about the sunroof. 

Next morning we got up, packed and so nicely left the hotel a bunch of inflatable cheap pool toys all over the room and headed to the van. If I remember correctly, we both did the same "Oh Snap" look when we noticed it had just rained and we both had forgotten about the sunroof. Too late to do anything about it...we get in the car. Luckly for Kat, My favorite jacket was left in the van and soaked up most of the rain water for her side...I however wasn't as lucky and got to ride the whole ride to the car rental place with a wet pants. 

That goodness, my pants dried before boarding the again...ALWAYS learn what buttons do what, or bring an extra pair of pants with you at all times.